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THE 7 BASIC LIVING SKILLS
by Dennis Fitzpatrick

The first three living skills avoid divorce. The rest lead to bliss. Fitzpatrick maintains that any person who changes their own behavior by using the first two living skills of the 7 he teaches, can get the same results with difficult partners, children, parents, friends and coworkers if they are addiction free. Learn how to be a creator and use a 2nd thought instead of an impulsive reaction. The measure of a person is how they handle conflict. Learn The 7 Peaceful Answers to Conflict.

Fitzpatrick now trains, drills and teaches counselors and the public in seminars for groups who wish to learn the 7 Basic Living Skills taught in this 26 Domestic Violence Classes page download and the dating skills in his book Dating by Brain Type. The material in Are You Addicted? Is He? Is She? is included in the 7 Basic Living Skills.

Watch the following video on the 7 Basic Living Skills (9:28)

The 7 Basic Living Skills are:

1. The Second Thought (Victim or Creator Behavior)
2. The 7 Peaceful Answers to Conflict
3. Overcoming Addictions: Food, Smoking, Substance Abuse
4. Happiness is satisfying my 5 Basic Genetic Needs
5. Forgiveness and Grieving the creator way
6. Simple Meditation, the secret to growth
7. Service through understanding my brain type, my mate & children

Following is an explanation of the first three, and most important, Living Skills:

Basic Living Skill 1: The Second Thought: Victim or Creator
The victim thinker reacts. Impulsive thinking leads to impulsive acts which in turn creates an emotional reaction that affects our health. Creators stop and consider a second thought that might be more effective than the initial victim reaction. This first living skill teaches how we have less than a second to change our reaction. Therefore we must have the second thought ready ahead of time: I can handle this without blowing up or I can handle this without taking the first drink: or I can handle this without eating what I know is not good for me.

Basic Living Skill 2: 7 Peaceful Answers to Conflict
The measure of a person is how they handle conflict. First determine if this is an unimportant or important issue. Then make the choice of which skill to use to answer the conflict. Just the act of deciding whether the issue is important or not is enough to slow down a person from reacting thoughtlessly to a situation.
Unimportant issue responses (80%) are the Power of Surrender, Bounce It, or a non-defensive answer such as You could be right, l’ll think about it, or a non-sarcastic grunt. Important issue responses are timeouts, Fair Fight Negotiation 1 or 2, setting appropriate boundaries.

Basic Living Skill 3: Overcoming Addiction
99% are food addicted while 66% are overweight and could suffer untimely early deaths; 20% are addicted to nicotine and will suffer early gradual deaths; 10% are alcohol addicted or are addicted to prescription or illegal drugs and could kill themselves and others in car accidents. Let us not neglect to mention thought addictions such as Gambling, Work, Spending, Sex & Love, Jealousy, Win at Any Cost Competition, Grieving, Religion, Addiction to Others and Institutional Codependency and other non-substance addictions that can also lead to tragic personal and relationship outcomes.

Order the ebook “7 Basic Living Skills” for $9.99

For Singles and Marrieds:

DATING BY BRAIN TYPE
Before and After Marriage
by Dennis Fitzpatrick

So you think sexual appeal determined your choice of partner? Maybe it was a familiar brain type. What brain type is your partner? If you knew, could you understand your mate and even guide your children better? Could you know your capabilities better if you knew your own Brain Type? With a divorce rate at 50% or higher, could it be that we don’t know how to date, attract, screen or keep potential partners for a life time relationship?

Watch the following video on “Dating by Brain Type” (7:16)

Do you prefer a woman who is a live wire (like my wife)? She is constantly on stage and alive to the present moment. Then date brain types 5-8 or 13-16.

What if you want a man who thinks and plans ahead and doesn’t just think of today? Then date brain types 1-4 or 9-12.

Maybe you prefer a compassionate partner? A person who will be empathetic with you. Then date brain types 1, 2, 5, 6, 9, 10, 13 or 14.

Let’s say that you admire a person who is a deep thinker. One with which you can have interesting conversations. Then date brain types 3, 4, 7, 8, 11, 12, 15 or 16.

Maybe after your last marriage you decided that you did not want to marry a slob. You don’t want somebody who throws their clothes around but is neat and orderly. Then date brain types 1, 3, 5, 7, 9, 11, 13 or 15.

If you had a relationship with someone who was always criticizing and judging you and others, then you might prefer a creative right brained person. Then date brain types 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12, 14 or 16.

Can we be more precise? Yes. Here are two from the master list of the brain types. Encircle the ones you would like to date:
#1 The People Person: An extravert that plans ahead who is also a feeling person that likes order in their lives.
#2 The Energetic Charmer: An extravert that plans ahead who is also a feeling and creative person. (From Chapter 1 of “Dating by Brain Type.”)

Order HERE the ebook “Dating by Brain Type” for $9.99 from Amazon

ARE YOU ADDICTED? IS HE? IS SHE?
41 Self-Evaluation Quizzes from Alcohol to Food to Worry
by Dennis Fitzpatrick

Addiction Definition: I know it is harmful but I do it anyway! Almost everyone eats foods they know are harmful. The addictions can be thought or substance addictions. At first they are mood altering, then harm relationships and finally affect health. A person changes when they self-evaluate.

Watch the following video on “Are You Addicted? Is He? Is She?” (5:04)

If a person can correct themselves, they simply had a bad habit. The Self-Evaluation Quizzes presented in this book can help a person correct themselves by doing the opposite so the answer to the question becomes no and not yes. For example, if whining or complaining is the issue, the Self-Evaluation question might be, When you are irritable or feel upset, do you blame others? If I stop blaming others I am on track to giving up my bad habit of whining. Self-Evaluation Quizzes are less expensive than professional help and are required anyway before change can take place. If I cannot stop my alcoholic drinking on my own, I might need the help of a counselor to overcome my addiction.

There are many more definitions of addiction. One of the most insightful definitions is by Gabor Mate, M.D. from his book, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts, (p. 136) “Addiction is any repeated behavior, substance-related or not, in which a person feels compelled to persist, regardless of its negative impact on his life and the lives of others.”

Quality Pictures

There are only two ways a person can change. I can change my behavior and/or I can change my quality picture. I believe both must be changed. I might be on a diet and bypass the dessert table at a buffet. But if apple pie ala mode is on that dessert table I might not last the evening without eating it. I had changed my behavior by being on a diet but I had not changed my quality picture regarding apple pie ala mode. It eventually will overcome my will power.

Another example of the power of our quality pictures is the alcoholic who gives up drinking. The person attends AA daily and does not drink between meetings. However, this person would really rather be high than sober. Such a person is at war with themselves and has white knuckle sobriety. Relapse is likely unless this person changes their picture about sobriety. When the blessings of sobriety become appreciated more than the mood altering effect of getting high, this person can stay sober. When I appreciate my sobriety because I do what I say I will do, I show up on time, no hangovers, I become reliable and trustworthy, etc., then I have replaced the old picture with a new one. My behavior and my picture match. (From Chapter 1 of “Are You Addicted? Is He? Is She?”)

Order the ebook “Are You Addicted? Is He? Is She?” for $9.99

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