Seven Basic Living Skills

Any person who changes their own behavior by using the first two living skills can get the same results with difficult partners, children, parents, friends and co-workers if they are addiction free.

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THE 7 BASIC LIVING SKILLS

The first three living skills avoid divorce.  The rest lead to bliss.  Fitzpatrick maintains that any person who changes their own behavior by using the first two living skills of the 7 he teaches, can get the same results with difficult partners, children, parents, friends and coworkers if they are addiction free.

1. The Second Thought

2. Handling Conflict

3. Overcoming Addiction

4. The 5 Basic Needs

5. Forgiveness and Amends

6. Meditation

7. Service

Following is an explanation of the first three, and most important, Living Skills:

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The 7 Basic Living Skills

The first 3 skills avoid divorce The rest lead to bliss!

By Dennis Fitzpatrick

Dennis is the greatest therapist I have ever met. I have had more than a few counselors in my life. Dennis is the best. He made me understand what he is teaching. My life has totally changed for the better because of him. I want him to know this.

I have more control over my own emotions. I am able to bounce her efforts to bring me down to a victim thinking level. These classes should be mandatory for both parties especially if married with children. I now have peace, harmony and happiness in my marriage.

For Singles and Marrieds:

DATING BY BRAIN TYPE

Before and After Marriage

So you think sexual appeal determined your choice of partner? Maybe it was a familiar brain type. What brain type is your partner? If you knew, could you understand your mate and even guide your children better? Could you know your capabilities better if you knew your own Brain Type? With a divorce rate at 50% or higher, could it be that we don’t know how to date, attract, screen or keep potential partners for a life time relationship?

Watch the following video on “Dating by Brain Type” (7:16)

Do you prefer a woman who is a live wire (like my wife)? She is constantly on stage and alive to the present moment. Then date brain types 5-8 or 13-16.

What if you want a man who thinks and plans ahead and doesn’t just think of today? Then date brain types 1-4 or 9-12.

Maybe you prefer a compassionate partner? A person who will be empathetic with you. Then date brain types 1, 2, 5, 6, 9, 10, 13 or 14.

Let’s say that you admire a person who is a deep thinker. One with which you can have interesting conversations. Then date brain types 3, 4, 7, 8, 11, 12, 15 or 16.

Maybe after your last marriage you decided that you did not want to marry a slob. You don’t want somebody who throws their clothes around but is neat and orderly. Then date brain types 1, 3, 5, 7, 9, 11, 13 or 15.

If you had a relationship with someone who was always criticizing and judging you and others, then you might prefer a creative right brained person. Then date brain types 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12, 14 or 16.

Can we be more precise? Yes. Here are two from the master list of the brain types. Encircle the ones you would like to date:
#1 The People Person: An extravert that plans ahead who is also a feeling person that likes order in their lives.
#2 The Energetic Charmer: An extravert that plans ahead who is also a feeling and creative person. (From Chapter 1 of “Dating by Brain Type.”)

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DATING BY BRAIN TYPE

Before and After Marriage

By Dennis Fitzpatrick

Looking inside me has been the biggest eye opening event I’ve experienced in my life. I see my faults instead of ignoring them. I use the breathing exercise and meditation.

I don’t have to be right anymore. I use bounce it and meditation. I want to start a business, pay off my mortgage and continue to live as a creator healer.

On Addiction:

ARE YOU ADDICTED? IS HE? IS SHE?

41 Self-Evaluation Quizzes from Alcohol to Food to Worry

Addiction Definition: I know it is harmful but I do it anyway! Almost everyone eats foods they know are harmful. The addictions can be thought or substance addictions. At first they are mood altering, then harm relationships and finally affect health. A person changes when they self-evaluate.
Watch the following video on “Are You Addicted? Is He? Is She?” (5:04)

If a person can correct themselves, they simply had a bad habit.  The Self-Evaluation Quizzes presented in this book can help a person correct themselves by doing the opposite so the answer to the question becomes no and not yes.  For example, if whining or complaining is the issue, the Self-Evaluation question might be, When you are irritable or feel upset, do you blame others?  If I stop blaming others I am on track to giving up my bad habit of whining.  Self-Evaluation Quizzes are less expensive than professional help and are required anyway before change can take place.  If I cannot stop my alcoholic drinking on my own, I might need the help of a counselor to overcome my addiction.
There are many more definitions of addiction.  One of the most insightful definitions is by Gabor Mate, M.D. from his book, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts, (p. 136) “Addiction is any repeated behavior, substance-related or not, in which a person feels compelled to persist, regardless of its negative impact on his life and the lives of others.”

Quality Pictures
There are only two ways a person can change.  I can change my behavior and/or I can change my quality picture.  I believe both must be changed.  I might be on a diet and bypass the dessert table at a buffet.  But if apple pie ala mode is on that dessert table I might not last the evening without eating it.  I had changed my behavior by being on a diet but I had not changed my quality picture regarding apple pie ala mode.  It eventually will overcome my will power.
Another example of the power of our quality pictures is the alcoholic who gives up drinking.  The person attends AA daily and does not drink between meetings.  However, this person would really rather be high than sober.  Such a person is at war with themselves and has white knuckle sobriety.  Relapse is likely unless this person changes their picture about sobriety.  When the blessings of sobriety become appreciated more than the mood altering effect of getting high, this person can stay sober.  When I appreciate my sobriety because I do what I say I will do, I show up on time, no hangovers, I become reliable and trustworthy, etc., then I have replaced the old picture with a new one.  My behavior and my picture match. (From Chapter 1 of “Are You Addicted? Is He? Is She?”) 

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ARE YOU ADDICTED?
IS HE? IS SHE?

41 Self-Evaluation Quizzes from Alcohol to Food to Worry

By Dennis Fitzpatrick

Every aspect of my life is better, my emotional control, communication skills and home life.

On a scale of 1 to 10, Dennis is an 11. He is a wonderful teacher and I’m very glad he was my teacher.